Sunday, July 25, 2010

Summer Update: It was a long winter!

Many of you read our testimony to God's faithfulness over the past 5 years through the loss of our business, homes and my husband's present physical disability. At the beginning of this year we settled into a little bungalow in my aunt's barn which is nestled amongst her 10 acres of almonds. The winter months were difficult for my husband physically while his body adjusted to many new medications. Several of the medications that were prescribed to relieve pain had horrible side effects which brought their own host of serious problems. The colder temperatures also brought more pain. We spent many of our days at doctor appointments and tests with a few trips to the E.R. I'll be honest and share my very heart with you ... some of those days felt very 'dark' and I struggled at times emotionally as I watched my husband suffer knowing I could do nothing to relieve his pain. Yet, through the myriad of trials we're experiencing a richer walk with the Lord as He teaches us more about Himself. Some of these lessons involve dying to dreams that have long been a part of us. These lessons, although painful, are proving in the long run to bring a deeper joy than we've ever known in our Christian walk.

I am finding a greater need to daily rest in the knowledge of God's sovereignty. I'm slowly learning the lessons of what Amy Carmichael once shared in her poem, "In Acceptance Lieth Peace". I am convinced that Scripture teaches a loving God has 'assigned my portion' for each day (Psalms 16:5). Some of that portion may involve suffering, some may involve sorrow. He is the 'blessed controller' of all things (1 Timothy 6:15). What that means to me personally is that even my husband's pain is not out of His control.

Elisabeth Elliot once wrote, "I know of no greater simplifier for all of life. Whatever happens is assigned. Does the intellect balk at that? Can we say that there are things that happen to us that do not belong to our lovingly assigned "portion." ("This belongs to it, that does not")? Are some things, then, out of the control of the Almighty? Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good. As I accept the given portion other options are canceled. Decisions become much easier, directions clearer, and hence my heart becomes inexpressibly quieter. A quiet heart is content with what God gives."

I cannot live in the past of what my husband and I had hoped our future would look like. I cannot live in the fantasy of what we 'thought' our future should be. I especially will not mourn the loss of 'things' that with time would only rust and be left behind on this earth. I choose to rest in the security of knowing an all loving and all-powerful God has not left His throne but is masterfully in control of each intricate detail of our lives. We seeing His plan unfolding each day and are witnessing His skillful craftsmanship as He weaves all of our circumstances into a pattern for good.. even the painfully, hard ones! I pray His lessons will continue to change us and be used to conform us into the image of His Son Jesus Christ. (Romans 8:28,29)

You know.. the amusing thing is that the ideals we had for our future were no way as glorious as what we are experiencing today.... even in the midst of the painful times. Our 'imagined' goals focused on the temporary things of this world and how we would live financially in our old age. We labored to that end. A very small portion of our imaginations for the future had to do with God's kingdom. These days my husband and I talk much about the Lord's kingdom and how we hope to serve more. God is teaching us to 'seek first His kingdom' and we're finding a huge portion of joy as our focus becomes set more on the eternal things rather than the temporal.

(I have a small window (possibly) of opportunity to share lessons we are learning while my husband's physical state is temporarily stabilized and my help is less needed. I hope to share more in a later post... Lord willing.)


  1. Wonderful post! Thank you for sharing your journey.

  2. i have such peace considering that everything, even the things that i consider "bad" or hurtful, come through the loving hands of my Heavenly Father. It is so much more of a comfort knowing that He does control it all than, as some think, that things "just happen". My Father knows what is best for me and mine and i delight to see Him working in our lives even in the painful part.
    thanks for sharing more of your story.

  3. What an insightful post! I love the knowledge I have, that God is there for us - in good times and bad! All we need to do is ask for His help, then have faith in Him. He loves us, and wants us succeed in His plan for us. Life does give us storms, but we must walk through the rain to find the rainbow . . . and there always is a rainbow!

    Thank you for sharing, you have helped me fill my cup this night.


  4. What a beautiful post, and what a beautiful soul you have. I look forward to your future posts, as you are able to write them. God be with you and bless you in the ways that He has in store for you!

  5. Dear Friend,

    Thank you for such an encouraging post. Our lives are similar in that our lives have flip-flopped from two very good incomes to Social Security Disability incomes. We are thankful for that although it took much time for those to go through. Our health struggles continue, but we know who is always in the Ultimate Divine Control...Oh Yes.

    Our faith deepens, our walk is ever so close to Him and our eyes fixed upon Him at all times no matter what we are going through.

    Blessings to you my friend.


  6. I feel like I've found a FAMILY in you women!!! I too have a testimony of the LORD providing in a very difficult time. Really I should blog on it some, but haven't. We were moved to downsize by the LORD in Aug 08 after I'd had to quite work and Hubby's work was not getting any better. 5 weeks after moving to a smaller home from our dream built home and 5 acres, he lost his job. He still cannot find work!!! I have too many physical problems to work outside the home, and so the story goes. No health insurance, and we take 11 meds between us. sigh~~~ The LORD has provided in ways we can't imagine, yet we can't see ahead. HE IS SOOOOO GOOD!

  7. I'm familiar with Setting Captives Free course. It is quite amazing. Went through that a few years back. I haven't heart about Fitzpatrick though. Will have to google that and check it out. Thanks so much for sharing this with me.

    That is amazing though how the Lord has lead me on this journey to be completely whole, holy and blameless (Ephesians), setting me free, layer by layer from the bondage's and strongholds that have held me down for most of my life.The spirit of gluttony is definitely strong, but our God IS stronger..Glory to God the most high!

    Thank you for your comment and connecting with me.You blessed my heart this day.


    "Are some things, then, out of the control of the Almighty? Every assignment is measured and controlled for my eternal good. "

    amen amen amen..I have learned this to be the truth these last 23 months that my family and I have faced many fierce 'storms' in our lives.

    This was such a powerful devotional and blessed my heart greatly.

  8. I was looking for your post on the quilt, so I could leave my comment there. You asked about the raggedy quilt. I would suggest getting a pattern, you could probably find a free one in a fabric store or on the internet--they are very easy to make--essentially a 'sandwich' of two pieces of fabric squares, with or without batting (or an old blanket piece) in the middle. Stitch the sandwich together, and then stitch all the sandwiches together--but get the pattern and instructions--that would be better than me trying to explain. You have to clip exposed seams and then wash the quilt in a commercial washer, and the seams turn 'raggedy'. I'm going to make some summer raggedy quilts and I will not put batting inside the sandwich squares--it makes the quilt lighter weight and is less expensive, and makes the process go faster. I did a post recently on the throw I made, it is in my posts for December 2010 (can't think of the name of it right now.) Take a look at it, and you will get the idea, but find a free pattern for complete instructions. Okay, end of my book here!


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